Beard To Tail

Intro

We fancied going slightly ‘off the beaten track’ for this one. Although it doesn’t sound that appetising, the menu of meat and the appeal of double cooked chips on the menu sounded pretty strong. Opposite the Hoxton Pony, deepest darkest Shoreditch is where Beard To Tail live. Review time!

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Read on…

Patty

Nick

No Just no Dry as a bone. 15% fat content allegedly. No seasoning, flavourless, chewy. Worst patty to date. Nothing more to say (well, Andy has).

Andy

Awful. I have never eaten a patty that was such hard work. It shows how good the standards are now when it comes to burgers. It was like eating a clump of cardboard.

Go away Score: 1

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Bun

Nick

Chewy, dry, and partly stale. No fluffiness, no light and shade. Just shade. This is the first bun to fail on the Rip Test® for being TOO tough. Want to insert a crying smiley, but I won’t.

Andy

Dry. Which matched the beef, but not in a good way. It looks half decent, but it was too thick and dry.

Go away Score: 3

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Toppings

Nick

Thickest Burger King style tomato I have ever had. Thin shreds of pickle you could hardly taste, and a bed of lettuce. Yes, that was it. Awful.

Andy

There weren’t any. A slice of thick watery tomato and a lump of lettuce. Not even cheese. I should have popped out and picked up some American cheese slices. The double cooked chips, I am sure were not double cooked. They should be crispy on the outside and soft and fluffy on the inside. Not uncooked and soggy.

Go away Score:2

In hindsight this photo is actually pretty funny. £10.50!?

Nick

Didn’t finish the burger to give the structure a proper review

Andy

The first burger I haven’t finished. I think ever. Also the plate was offensive too, like a Ming vase on acid type thing.

Look, if they had even asked me when they cleared the plates was there a problem, I would have said. But they didn’t, even though I left 75% of it.

Go away Score:2

You can just about see my right eye if you take a closer look

Verdict

It’s burgers like this that make us slightly lose passion in the whole thing. We were not happy. We even questioned the future of the blog. A waste of time. The burger cost a whopping £10.50 WITHOUT the “Double dipped fat daddy chips,” which were £4 and tasted like Aunt Bessies frozen roast potatoes.

We had such high hopes for this new restaurant. The menu looked quite different.

Please please please don’t waste your time here like we did.

The end?